Our Story: Intended Parents via Surrogacy

Hello! We are Ryan and Becca, and we have decided to turn to surrogacy to grow our family. We met while attending college at K-State. We fell madly in love quickly as I realized what a sweet man Ryan is, and he realized how good I bake! I had promised my parents that I wouldn’t get engaged before I graduated college, but I definitely broke that promise when he proposed to me on Manhattan Hill two weeks before graduation! Here’s a picture of us returning to the scene of the crime!

We’ve been together 11 years now, and married for 7! We currently live near Wichita, KS with our spoiled cat, Luna. I’m an accountant, and Ryan is an IT manager. I enjoy baking, painting, and anything crafty, really, while Ryan enjoys wood and mechanical work, computer stuff and 3D printing! We enjoy simply spending time together – long walks or running in the nearby park, working on things around the house/yard, trying new restaurants, or just a good old fashioned Netflix binge. We’ve been trying to grow our family since 2017, but we are still waiting for the day we bring our baby home.

So, you may be wondering… Why surrogacy? Our daughter, Ava Lea, was born sleeping in November 2018.

Our daughter, Ava Lea, was stillborn in November 2018. Since her birth we have learned a lot – like the fact that I have a super rare condition in which my body attacks the placenta like a body rejecting a donor kidney. We’ve learned that not many doctors even know about this placental issue, which is called Chronic Histiocytic Intervillositis (or CHI, which we pronounce like “chai” tea). We’ve been told that the best chance for ever having a baby of our own will be through surrogacy because my body will attack any future pregnancy, and any treatment is a best guess that may or may not work. I’ve been to many different specialists, all who agree that there seems to be nothing wrong with me that would prevent me from having a healthy pregnancy (other than the fact CHI happened, and I didn’t have a healthy pregnancy). We’ve learned about infertility and the struggle to get pregnant. We’ve learned that getting pregnant is only half the battle. We fell pregnant again in the spring of 2020, and I began a very comprehensive treatment plan with hopes that we would make it far enough to at least have a chance in NICU. We even reached out to a doctor and researcher in the UK who helped us form a plan and gave us some hope. Unfortunately, the treatment didn’t work, and we discovered there was no heartbeat at 15 weeks – on Ryan’s birthday. Our son, Ian Carter, was born the next day.

We are learning to accept that I will not be able to carry without the same outcome happening again and again.

All we’ve ever wanted is to grow a family of our own, so we are hoping we can find a wonderful woman willing to carry our baby to term. We currently have 4 PGS normal embryos ready to go, and we are excited to start this process!

Our Search for the Perfect Match

We desire open communication throughout the process and to be included as much as possible (without it putting a strain or stress on you, of course). We are open to letting a relationship form organically and continue keeping in touch after birth. Our ideal candidate would live within 6 hours of Wichita (definitely open to any surrogate-friendly states, though), have a healthy lifestyle and great support system in place, as well as be organized, caring, and considerate.

We would absolutely love if we could find someone within our circle, or a friend of a friend before we go through an agency or attempt to find someone through matching groups. It’s important to us to find someone we can trust, who can trust us too, and who is aware of what the process entails. So, while we are excited to get started, we want to be sure we find someone who is a great fit, and allow time for her to research and truly consider all the ins and outs before we dive in! Our goal time frame to transfer is currently early 2022 (starting screenings, contracts, insurance review in the Fall of 2021 so that we have plenty of time to check all the boxes and purchase insurance during open enrollment if needed).

We are open to negotiating comp, but are hoping we can find someone with altruistic intentions who is okay with lower-average comp. We will, of course, cover all costs relating to surrogacy, and want to be sure you comfortable with your compensation. We have spent over a year researching all that goes into this process and feel confident in going independently in a responsible and ethical manner, but do have a couple agencies in mind if you prefer.

For Potential Surrogates, here are our requests and clinic requirements:

Non-Negotiable Requirements:

  • Lives in a surrogacy-friendly state
  • Financially stable (not on government assistance)
  • Last pregnancy needs to have been complication-free and full-term delivery, within the last 10 years (no concerns about growth, medications outside of typical prenatal vitamin, bed rest, etc.)
  • At least one-year since last delivery at time of transfer
  • Currently raising at least one child
  • 100% done with your own family
  • No more than 2 c-sections
  • Healthy BMI (30 or under preferred)
  • Non-smoker & not an ex-smoker
  • Single Embryo Transfer (SET) only
  • Unless your life is at risk, trust us to make termination decisions in consultation with at least one MFM
  • Transfer protocol includes shots – we are not willing to do natural cycles; We will not want a home birth
  • Will follow CDC guidelines and recommendations – (fully vaccinated & willing to get boosters as recommended, social distance, wear mask, etc.)
  • Will follow all RE/OB recommendations – (take meds as directed, abstain as directed, follow bed rest orders, etc.)
  • Pass background check, psych consultation, complete medical screening, and contracts with separate lawyers for each party (significant other is required to participate/complete steps as well)
Generally Accepted Surrogate Requirements

Negotiable Requests:

  • Lives within one hour of hospital with level 3 or higher NICU and willing to deliver in this hospital
  • Willing to travel to KC for transfer
  • Open to having us attend scans and be present in delivery room
  • Independent journey (we have a couple agencies in mind, if preferred)

Thank you for taking time to read our story! If you would like to chat or ask questions to see if we are a good fit, please message through the Contact Page or email Becca’s fundraising bakery email at schmidtthatsgood@gmail.com!

Please share this page – our perfect surrogate is out there, and we need your help to find her! 💕🤞🏼🌈