We have a medically-cleared match!


Last week we finally got confirmation that our match was medically cleared by our RE!

What a relief this was! In our search, we had 10 women reach out to us in total, I believe, which was insane to me. I was really thinking we would end up needing an agency to connect with someone. Our clinic actually ended up asking how we were finding so many options by ourselves because they wanted to share the insight with other patients! Social media can be used for good!

We started by having two women, both who seemed lovely, send their medical records to our clinic. We hoped that our clinic could tell us which would be the better option so that we didn’t have to choose. The night before our doctor was able to review their records, one lady called me and said she had to back out. Absolutely no hard feelings here. Yeah, it sucks, but we get that it’s a lot to ask, and we are honestly just glad she realized her limits before we committed any time or money to her.

The next day our doctor notified us that neither women were qualified based on their medical records. It was a shock because we had already asked a few questions of the doctor and we’re reassured that nothing we asked about was a concern.

Back to square one we went.

We expanded our search to some match groups and then updated our post on my personal Facebook in hopes that we could still find someone close.

We had two more reach out at that point and both sent their medical records to our clinic. One was accepted, and we began to let ourselves feel some excitement. She was/is wonderful and a perfect match for us! She still had to go through a consult with our RE to be sure she knew the process and had any questions answered, along with discussing medical history further. This took about a month to get in for. Once she got through the consult, the real medical screening was scheduled. Again, it took a few weeks to get everything done.

To say this is a process of hurry up and wait is incredibly accurate! We ended up scheduling the clinical assessment (psychological evaluation) right after we found out the consult went well because the therapist was scheduling 3-4 weeks out. We ended up getting confirmation of the medical clearance the day before her scheduled psych eval.

So a lot of family and friends have been asking, what’s next?!

We are currently in the contract phase. Other boxes to check-off include reviewing medical insurance and purchasing her a surrogacy-friendly plan during open enrollment, if needed (which is likely), establishing an escrow account, and then scheduling the transfer cycle!

Right now, we are hoping for an early 2022 transfer, so we can be sure that insurance is in place. It’s also nice to know we won’t have anxiety about wondering if the transfer was successful, or the wait for the 7 week scan through the holidays.

Last week was also 3 years since we announced we were pregnant with Ava. I don’t even recognize the woman in that picture anymore. It’s not just a lifetime ago. It was a different life.

This week I’ve allowed myself (read: kinda had to for contract points and psych eval) to contemplate what the timeline may look like next year, including the idea of what delivery and the hospital stay might look like, and when baby may be coming home. That’s something I haven’t let myself daydream about for quite some time.

It is starting to seem possible again. It’s a scary and exciting and wonderful thought.

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