It’s hard. It sucks. You feel envy, jealousy, anger, shame. It’s not something you can openly admit, but seeing her happy birth announcement makes you sad. It’s another reminder that you didn’t get to feel that joy. Your baby wasn’t for keeps. You think, why her and not me? Seeing her post milestones pictures or bring her baby to social events – You feel happy for her, and then a deep sadness for yourself.
I admit, I’ve had these thoughts and feelings. Several women I know were pregnant the same time as me, and now they are starting to have their babies. And me? I get the envy, anger, shame, and deep sadness.
Rainbow Road 
This really resonates for me. The mixed emotions of joy and happiness for friends combined with envy and bitterness that this isn’t our good news, and a dose of shame at the negative emotions. Such a difficult time.
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