Somewhere Over The Rainbow

We brought our sweet little guy home. I'm still in shock that we made it through, and he is all ours for keeps. Surrogacy is a beautiful, wonderful thing. We will be forever grateful for our surrogate! We thank our lucky stars every day for him. I'm still in awe of the love, perseverance, and …

20 weeks

I told myself I would write something when we had heartbeat confirmation, but then it was still too scary. I told myself I would write something when we reached the second trimester. And then I was paralyzed when that milestone came and went. I told myself I would definitely write something after the anatomy scan. …

The Tiny Shoes You Never Got to Wear

Three years 💔Before we lost you, I never quite understood how people could say "Not a day goes by that I don't think of you" and it be true. I have thought of you literally every single day for the last three years, and I understand now it can absolutely be true.Some mornings, you are …

Why I Disconnected My Dysfunctional Uterus

Yep. We're talking about it. Reproductive healthcare is healthcare. In my case (as with many), it was mental healthcare, physical healthcare, reproductive healthcare. So I'm talking about it because women's healthcare is important, and like all things related to pregnancy loss, this is just another taboo that needs taken down. In the days immediately following …

We have a medically-cleared match!

🥳 Last week we finally got confirmation that our match was medically cleared by our RE! What a relief this was! In our search, we had 10 women reach out to us in total, I believe, which was insane to me. I was really thinking we would end up needing an agency to connect with …

Texas SB8 in the Context of Surrogacy

Look. I am not interested in debating someone who has never heard a doctor say the words, "Your baby won't live, no matter what we do." Your "truth" about abortion doesn't matter unless and until you are in that situation, a situation requiring your choice or where the choice was taken from you. I'll let …

A Year of Missing You

It's been a year since we held our sweet boy and said our goodbyes. 15 weeks of hoping you would be ours for keeps. 52 weeks of missing you with a lifetime to go... I'm so sorry my body couldn't do what it was supposed to, to keep you safe. If my love could have …

💛💛💛💛

The results came in, and I joyfully celebrated with friends and family on Facebook almost immediately. I realized today, I updated the site for our match search, but didn't create a blog post! We have FOUR embabies ready to go! Four little seeds of hope. Four chances to have our own little family. We have …

Legs up, lights out

Gotta make this as fun as possible, right?! I'm finally in a headspace to recap this part of our journey. To be honest, I really didn't want to update until we knew for sure if we were truly past this hurdle. Until the test results are in, I can't declare this checked off our Intended …

Last Day of Stims

Yesterday, I had 15 measurable follicles. Today, was my last day of stims, which means I only have two shots left before retrieval. One last keep-my-follicles-from-popping-early shot and then the trigger shot. I'll be going in for retrieval on Tuesday, and we should know before we leave how many eggs they were able to get. …